so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
