: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
