For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
