Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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