those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
