Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
did you just send me my own nude
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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