if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
