i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
