i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
