I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize