Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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