I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
