Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
