have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
