my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
