this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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