She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
