I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
