No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
