he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
