In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
