I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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