Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
