How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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