I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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