Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
