Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I didn't notice because vodka
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
