Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
