can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
