I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
