This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize