i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
