So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
