I wanna passion pit in your ass
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Pants are for mortals
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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