You work out of a Hotel?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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