If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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