What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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