you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
