My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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