I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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