Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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