Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
