Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
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We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
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I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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