this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Are my feet made of real feet?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
