I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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