He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize