Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
