who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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