She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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