Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
