Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
its liver damage thursday
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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