You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
