We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Drake has all the answers
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
