Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
