super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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