What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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