I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
