Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
