no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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