so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
