But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I AM VODKA MAN
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
