I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize