Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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