seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
