My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i think i have herpe
just one?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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