I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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