Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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