i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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