Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You can't just leave with hair like that
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I forgot wine drunk hurts
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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